In the aftermath of a separation or divorce, what to do regarding dual parenting of your kids is a prominent question. Balancing the needs of both yourself and your children is extremely challenging, but a step-up parenting plan can be an excellently structured way to gradually increase a noncustodial parent’s time with their child. This approach regardless of whether you are the noncustodial parent or your partner is, ensures that your child or children adjust comfortably while fostering a parent-child bond that will last. Learn what a step-up parenting plan is along with how to build out a customized plan that suits the needs of your whole family.
The Basics of a Step-Up Parenting Plan
For those unfamiliar, a step-up parenting plan is intentionally designed as a framework to increase visitation over time slowly. Usually, this plan starts with extremely limited contact such as short daytime visits or taking children from one place to another, before gradually progressing to longer periods including overnight stays.
The major benefit of this plan is that it tends to help a child or children adapt to drastic changes in their routines that come from the divorce or separation of their parents. It also gives the noncustodial parent time to build up their caregiving skills.
A step-up plan can be particularly helpful when you have younger children, if you’re trying to introduce a parent after a long period of absence, or if your separation is a high-conflict situation.
4 Tips for Creating an Effective Step-Up Parenting Plan
Every family is unique which means no step-up parenting plan will look exactly the same. However, when learning the ins and outs of a step-up parenting plan, there are four beneficial tips that can allow you to build out a plan that works:
Assess The Needs Of Your Family
As mentioned, no families are the same which means yours is going to have certain needs that others may not have. Start with the age of your child or children and their current developmental stage. For instance, an infant may require more frequent and shorter visits whereas older children may benefit from longer stays.
You should also take the time to evaluate the noncustodial parent’s capacity to meet your child’s emotional and physical needs. There are logistics to think about including the distance between your homes and work schedules which will play a critical role, so try to tailor your plan to ensure everyone’s needs are met.
Establish Clear And Realistic Goals
The second tip for setting up an effective step-up parenting plan is to set well-defined objectives from the very start that guide the transition process. Short-term goals could look like increasing the duration of visits whereas long-term goals may look more like aiming for shared custody or extended visits with the noncustodial parent.
By setting achievable milestones, you can help measure the progress of your plan and ensure that your child’s well-being is at the center of the plan more than anything else.
Develop A Timeline For The Implementation Of The Plan
The timeline for your step-up parenting plan can vary greatly but, at its core, it should be incremental and flexible. Starting with weekly visits for a couple of hours is a common starting point for the first few months, with the visits extending in length by half a year if your child is adapting well.
Don’t forget that regular check-ins between you and your former partner will be crucial to ensure that your plan remains effective and responsive to the needs of your child. You might need to make adjustments based on feedback from your child or former partner, as well as any unexpected circumstances.
Formally Document The Plan And Get Legal Approval
Getting your plan into writing will be the next crucial tip to follow as it will help to ensure clarity and accountability on all sides. The document should outline what the visitation schedule will start as, the timeline for progressions, and any conditions you or your former partner may have for moving to the next phase.
An excellent choice is to collaborate with a lawyer or mediator who can help you align your plan with any applicable state custody laws to ensure the enforceability of the step-up plan. A legally sound document will protect both parents and prioritize your child’s best interest more than a “handshake” plan.
Set Your Family Up For Success
Having a well-constructed step-up parenting plan will foster trust, stability, and an overall stronger familial relationship. Focus on your child’s needs above all else and work collaboratively with your former partner to create an arrangement that benefits everyone. With both patience and commitment, you can create a parenting plan that paves the way to successful co-parenting.